Robin Hood: Men in Tights

Robin Hood: Kindly let me pass. Little John: Uh, no. Sorry, but a toll is a toll, and a roll is a roll, and if we don't get no tolls, then we don't eat no rolls. [proudly] I made that up. Robin Hood: It's very fascinating. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to hurt you.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0

Robin Hood: You've just entered the territory of Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Rabbi Tuckman: [makes a suggestive wave of his hand] Feygeles? Robin Hood: No, no, we're straight, just merry. Rabbi Tuckman: Azoy. And who are you, with the exceptionally long feather in your hat? Robin Hood: I am Robin of Loxley. Rabbi Tuckman: Robin of Loxley? I've just come from Maid Marian, the woman whose heart you've stolen, you prince of thieves, you! I knew her parents before they were taken in the plague, Lord and Lady Bahgel. You know, you two were made for each other. I mean, what a combination. Loxley and Bahgel! It can't miss!

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0

Robin Hood: Blinkin, I'd like you to meet Ahchoo. Blinkin: A Jew? Here?

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0

Robin Hood: I've come to warn you that if you do not stop levying these evil taxes, I shall lead the good people of England in a revolt against you. Prince John: And why should the people listen to you? Robin Hood: Because, unlike some other Robin Hoods, I can speak with an English accent.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0

Prince John: Such an unusual name. Latrine. How did your family come by it? Latrine: We changed it in the 9th Century. Prince John: You changed it to Latrine? Latrine: Yeah! It used to be Shithouse. Prince John: It's a good change...it's a good change.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rabbi Tuckman: Excuse me, King. Why, if you like this guy so much, do you object to his marrying Maid Marian? King Richard: I have no objection, but I have not yet kissed the bride. It is a custom, and my royal right. [hands the rabbi his sword] Hold this, Father. Rabbi Tuckman: Rabbi. King Richard: Whatever. Rabbi Tuckman: [impressed] It's good to be the king. King Richard: Now... [voice squeaking] you may marry them! Rabbi Tuckman: Thank you. Here's your knife. King Richard: Sword. Rabbi Tuckman: Whatever.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights, CC BY-SA 4.0