Just Friends

How did you lose all that weight? Like that retard from Subway?

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0

[about Chris and Jamie] Are you guys on the same menstrual cycle yet, or what?

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0

Chris: What about Sheila? You making any headway? Ray: We'll see. I'm taking her to lunch today. Chris: Oh, whoa, whoa whoa. Don't - don't do that. Okay? Don't do lunch. Ray: Why? Chris: That's like the express lane to the friend zone. Ray: What the hell's the friend zone? Chris: See when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp. Ray: I don't want to be a lamp. Chris: Yea well then don't be her friend, okay? Take that guy for example... [points to a clumsy guy and a gorgeous girl skating together] Ray: You mean that couple? Chris: No, I mean the guy that wishes they were a couple. Ray: What is your point? Chris: My point is - Call Sheila, Ray. Call her right now. Move your day date to tonight. Play the entire thing aloof and no matter what you do, kiss her at the end. 'Cause friends don't kiss.

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0

Samantha: I wanna lick your SKIN off. Chris: I’d prefer you didn’t.

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0

Samantha: Do you really have my poster on your wall? Mike: Yeah. Samantha: Do you ever... Mike: All the time! Samantha: How many times a day? Mike: Eight. Samantha: Eight? Ooh that's hot! Mike: You're hot. Samantha: I know! I know.

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mike: Yeah I slapped the ham to it about an hour ago. Chris' Mom: What ham did you slap, honey? Not the one I just bought.

Just Friends, CC BY-SA 4.0