Quotes

Other

Joey Ziegler: He'd fuck a woodpile on the chance there was a snake in it. Joey Ziegler: Well, the world is getting smaller, the kids are getting younger and I'm getting drunk! Marv Ellman: There's nothing like having a mother and a daughter. Gives you sort of a kind of perspective.

Dialogue

Ellen Moseby: [of a football game] Who's winning? Harry Moseby: Nobody. One side is just losing slower than the other.

Dialogue

[shows Harry a picture] This is my second husband, Tom lverson, the bum. The only thing I got out of him was a new name. That's ahfter I quit acting. Did you ever see me in anything? I was never "big," not really big. There were a lot like me. You know, studio premieres, studio romances, not much talent. But I got lucky and grabbed off one of the big guns, Irving Grastner. Oh, I had lovely tits... even if I do say so myself. [sighs] Ahh, they're sitting on a little bit of silicone now... but when they were up for grabs, they were really something special.

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: [speculating that the missing daughter, Delly, may be in Florida with her stepfather] My guess is that I should go down there. Arlene Iverson: [melodramatically] You're gonna' go all the way to Florida on a guess? Harry Moseby: No. I'm gonna' fly all the way to Florida on your money, Mrs. Iverson. It's up to you. Arlene Iverson: [indifferently] Go ahead.

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: I'm looking for Delly Grastner. Quentin: Delly isn't around here anymore. Harry Moseby: You got any idea where she could be? Is she visiting friends? Is she meditating? Did she join a commune? Quentin: [scoffs] Delly's idea of a "commune" is her and a guy on top of her.

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: You think Delly knew that Marv and her mother were making it? Joey Ziegler: A blind man on a galloping horse would've known. Arlene ain't Lillian Gish.

Dialogue

Nick: Where do you know Arlene from? Joey Ziegler: From way back. Nick: Oh, yeah? What's your name again? Ziegler? Joey Ziegler? Joey Ziegler: Joey Ziegler. Nick: I don't think you were one of the names. Joey Ziegler: What names? Nick: One of those she cheated on Grastner with. I got them all. Joey Ziegler: I'm one of a small, select group. We hold meetings in a telephone booth.

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: [observing Paula, who is feeding dolphins in a special pen] What do you got 'em for? Paula: Well, there's a big demand for dolphins. Lots of people want 'em, you'd be surprised. People buy them for their swimming pools. They think it's chic to have a dolphin for a pet. Like that craze for baby alligators in New York years back. When they got bored with 'em, they flushed them down the john. Now they got a sewage system swarming with blind, albino, shit-eating alligators. Harry Moseby: [listening with a bemused look on his face] I'm not too sure I believe that. Paula: You're not one of those "intent on the truth" types, are you? Harry Moseby: Well, not religious about it, no, but I...

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: What'd you do before this? Paula: [coyly] This and that... [pauses, gives him a look] I taught school, I... kept house. I waited tables... I did a little stripping, I did a little hooking... and I trod a lot of water. Harry Moseby: Sounds kind of bleak. Or is it just the way you tell it? Paula: [sharply] Do you ask these questions because you wanna' know the answer, or is it just something you think a detective should do? Harry Moseby: I just want you to know I'm here.

Dialogue

Paula: Oh, that's a beauty. Harry Moseby: Yeah, but he didn't see it. He played something else and he lost. He must have regretted it every day of his life. I know I would have. As a matter of fact I do regret it, and I wasn't even born yet. Paula: That's no excuse.

Dialogue

Tom Iverson: I want that kid the hell out of here. You see, I... I get pretty foolish with her, and I... Well, you've seen her. God, there ought to be a law! Harry Moseby: There is.

Dialogue

Harry Moseby: What happened to your face? Quentin: I won second prize in a fight.

Dialogue

Arlene Iverson: Caught me in my bath. Harry Moseby: I'm sorry. Arlene Iverson: [seductively] Oh, that's all right. You could've joined me. It's a big bath. Harry Moseby: [with a wry grin] Maybe some other time, when I'm feeling really dirty.

Dialogue

Arlene Iverson: Are you the kind of detective who, once you get on a case nothing can get you off it? Bribes, beatings, the allure of a woman... Harry Moseby: That was true in the old days. Before we had a union.

Dialogue

Paula: How do you resist Delly? Harry Moseby: Oh, I just think good, clean thoughts, like Thanksgiving, George Washington's teeth.

Dialogue

Paula: Where were you when Kennedy got shot? Harry Moseby: Which Kennedy? Paula: Any Kennedy. Harry Moseby: When the president got shot, I was on my way to San Diego. Football game. When Bobby got shot, I was sitting in a car waiting for a guy to come out of a house with his girlfriend. Working on a divorce case. One of those times I wish I was in another business.

Dialogue

Nick: Where do you know Arlene from? Joey Ziegler: From way back. Nick: Oh, yeah? What's your name again? Ziegler? Joey Ziegler? Joey Ziegler: Joey Ziegler. Nick: I don't think you were one of the names. Joey Ziegler: What names? Nick: One of those she cheated on Grastner with. I got them all. Joey Ziegler: I'm one of a small, select group. We hold meetings in a telephone booth.