Quotes

Dialogue

Peerless Pauline: I've waited so long to find someone like you. J. Cheever Loophole: Oh, someone like me, I'm not good enough for you, eh?

Dialogue

Peerless Pauline: You're the man I've been dreaming of! J. Cheever Loophole: What do you eat before you go to bed?

Dialogue

Peerless Pauline: Oh, but, you don't have to go right now, do you? J. Cheever Loophole: Well, there's nothing to keep me here that I can see, from this angle. Peerless Pauline: But, we, we hardly know each other. I can be very entertaining if I want to be. J. Cheever Loophole: [Speaking directly to the camera] There must be some way of getting that money without getting in trouble with the Hays Office. [to Pauline] Will you walk on your hands?

Dialogue

Goliath the Strongman: How you like I should break you in two?! J. Cheever Loophole: Could I file separate income taxes?

Dialogue

Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Well! What is the meaning of this? J. Cheever Loophole: Keep your sheet on, I'm looking for old lady Dukesbury. Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: I am Mrs. Dukesbury. J. Cheever Loophole: Snook'ems! [Rushes to her arms] Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Oh, good gracious! I don't know you. J. Cheever Loophole: You mean you've, you've forgotten? Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Well, I... J. Cheever Loophole: I know, you have forgotten. Those June nights on the Riviera, where we sat 'neath the shimmering skies! Moonlight bathing in the Mediterranean! We were young, gay, reckless! The night I drank champagne from your slipper - two quarts. It would have held more, but you were wearing inner soles! Oh, Hildegarde! Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: My name is Susanna! J. Cheever Loophole: Let's not quibble!

Dialogue

Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: Judge Chanock will sit on my left hand and you will sit on my right hand. J. Cheever Loophole: How will you eat, through a tube?

Dialogue

Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: We must have regard for certain conventions. J. Cheever Loophole: One guy isn't enough. She's gotta have a convention.

Dialogue

J. Cheever Loophole: You know, if you hadn't sent for me I'd be home now, in a nice, warm bedroom, in a comfortable bed with a hot toddy. Antonio Pirelli: Huh? J. Cheever Loophole: That's a drink! Antonio Pirelli: That'sa too bad!

Dialogue

Antonio Pirelli: Folks, I wanna you should meet my pal! My best friend! What's your name again? J. Cheever Loophole: [annoyed] Loophole. Antonio Pirelli: [shaking his hand] Glad to know ya! J. Cheever Loophole: It's your pleasure.

Dialogue

Antonio Pirelli: You know what I think? The guy who hit Jeff on the head and knocked him out didn't like him. J. Cheever Loophole: Now let's not jump to concussions.

Dialogue

Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: You, monster. You're responsible for this disgrace! J. Cheever Loophole: That's gratitude for you. Most men get their sweethearts one ring for an engagement. I got you three rings! Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: A circus! I'll be a laughing stock.

Dialogue

Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury: My Goodness! What about Jardinet? J. Cheever Loophole: He's probably on his way back to Paris.