The Stepford Wives

Stepford Wife: I'm going to use a pinecone as the baby Jesus this year. Bobbi: And I'm going to attach a pinecone to my vibrator and have a really Merry Christmas!

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bobbi: Mace Windu and Amidala. Max: And Boba Fett? Bobbi: They were out. Max: Mom. Bobbi: Here's $500.

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mike: My real name isn't Mike, it's just a nickname from where I used to work. Joanna: Where? Mike: Microsoft. Ted: NASA. Vic: Disney. Stan: AOL. Joanna: Is that why the women are so slow?

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Joanna: Bobbie! Bobbie... this isn't you... Bobbie: That's right, Joanna! This isn't me, it's a whole new me. I'm happy, and I'm healthy, because I understand what's important in life. Joanna: Yes, your new book! Bobbie: [starts advancing on Joanna] That's right! That's what's important, my new cookbook. And my husband, and my family, and making a perfect home. It's a lesson every gal needs to learn, especially you. I'm your friend, Joanna. I'm going to help you. You need me. Joanna: You stay away from me! Bobbie: You are driven. Joanna: Well, sometimes... Bobbie: And you're selfish! You want to rule the world! I can fix you. I can change you. Joanna: [notices Bobbie's hand is resting upon the lit stove, yet she dosen't burn] What... have... they... done... to... you? Bobbie: Let's get busy!

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

"Balance of Power" Host: Who makes more money? Tara: [buzzes] I do! "Balance of Power" Host: Who enters Iron Man triathalons every year and wins? Tara: [buzzes] I do! "Balance of Power" Host: Who secretly wishes they were married to a hot sexy lesbian? Tara, Bob: [both buzz at once] I do!

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Joanna: We're trespassing! Bobbie: Only if we get caught.

The Stepford Wives (2004 film), CC BY-SA 4.0