Quotes

Dialogue

Claire Tyler: [offscreen; in bed] Alan, every ten-year-old is afraid of something. Alan Tyler: [offscreen; in bed] The kid's afraid of tuna-fish sandwiches. Claire Tyler: Mercury levels in the tuna. Alan Tyler: Whatever. Claire Tyler: Alan, the world is a frightening place to him right now. I think we could be a little more supportive. Alan Tyler: Supportive? I'm the most supportive father on earth, but I'm running out of supportive things to do. I signed him up for Little League, he drove everybody crazy with statistics about how you can develop tumors from being hit in the head with a ball. [offscreen] Did you know that shin splints can lead to blood clots in the legs? Claire, he brought in a medical journal. Nobody wanted to play after that. [Claire turns on a light] And now I'm building him a tree house, in a tree he refuses to climb. [looks at the treehouse on a dark and stormy night] Claire Tyler: You know he hates heights. Alan Tyler: I don't know. I just want to be a good fathe

Dialogue

Richard Tyler: Can't argue with statistics, Dad. Alan Tyler: Statistics. Here's something you can do: go down to Gutman's Hardware Store, buy a pound of these. Richard Tyler: But, Dad... Alan Tyler: Son, you can't live your life based on statistics. You've gotta take some chances. Now come on, Buddy. [with a five-dollar-bill] You can do this. [gives money to Richard] Richard Tyler: [leaving his parents behind; to himself] This is not good. Definitely not good.

Dialogue

Mr. Dewey: Welcome to the library, young man. Don't tell me, you're here for a special book. Richard Tyler: Uh, Mister... Mr. Dewey: Stop, stop stop, let me guess. I have a talent for guessing what people need. You're in need of... [starts speaking magically] a fantasy. Brave knights, mythical faeries, ferocious dragons. Richard Tyler: Look, all I want is... Mr. Dewey: [grabbing him and speaking excitedly] Adventure! Of course, you're a boy who loves adventure, brimming with wicked demons, cutthroat pirates. Richard Tyler: No, no. That's not it. Mr. Dewey: Horror. [speaking scarily while creeping toward him] Ahh, horror. Evil demons, wretched monsters, haunted houses, graveya-a-rds. Yes, it's horror for you, boy. I'm sure of it. [back to normal voice] Your library card, please. Richard Tyler: Uh, I don't have one. Mr. Dewey: [makes a library card appear magically] You do now.

Dialogue

Fantasy: [to Richard, angrily] What are you doing, grabbing me like that and messing up my pantyhose? Hmph! Now I gotta straight out my Little Mermaid underwear. Richard Tyler: [putting his glasses back on] Wh-Who are you? Fantasy: [gruff] I'm Fantasy! [starts over] Oh! Ahem. [sweet] I'm Fantasy.

Dialogue

Adventure: I heard that! And I would let you know, I'm a Classic! Fantasy: Mm-hmm, a classic misprint. Adventure: Why, you old sea serpent! I'll rip out your pages, and use them for-! [slips off] OH NO! [falls to the ground] MAN OVERBOARD! Richard Tyler: [really freaking out] Do something! Fantasy: Hmm... [gives you a blast of wand, then Adventure falls and crashed down] Oops. Ha, ha, I forgot my wand doesn't always work outside of the fantasy section. Richard Tyler: You mean you can't wish us to the exit?

Dialogue

Richard Tyler: Are we yet in the library? Adventure: Aye, lad. The horror section. Richard Tyler: It looks pretty eerie. Adventure: That it does, mate. Just stick close to me and you've had nothing to worry about. [doesn't sound too sure] Richard Tyler: There it is! The exit! Adventure: Looks like the only road to reach the exit is through that far house. Richard Tyler: [swallows hard] No way I'm going in there. Adventure: It's your only chance, boy. It's only a house. Richard Tyler: Yes, but seventeen percent of all incidents are household related. Adventure: C'mon down, ya dog-eared scalawag! Fantasy: Oh, put that fact away. You're frightening him. [with that said, she flies up after the little book] Come out, come out, wherever you are. Horror: I know why you shrieked. It's because I'm horrible. I frightened you! Fantasy: Do I look afraid? Horror: You mean you're not afraid? Fantasy: Of course not. C'mon down. Fantasy: You mustn't judge a book by its cover. Adventure: Alright. [tire

Dialogue

Horror: So, do I think I'm scaring it? He shouldn't swim right after eating you know, he'll get cramps. Adventure: Where did he go? Richard Tyler: Aah! Adventure: Row! Row for your lives! Richard Tyler: [sees Moby Dick] AAH!!!! Adventure: Abandon Ship-! Richard Tyler, Horror, Fantasy, Adventure: [bites off the boat] Waa-hooooooh! Richard Tyler: [screams] AAH-!!! [falls down to the water and crashed; coughs in water] Guys! Where are you?!

Dialogue

Adventure: There goes me ticket out of here! Uh... Crows Nest Pirate: LAND HOOOOO! LAND HOOOO!

Dialogue

Horror: [singing] Sixteen men on a dead man's stomach. Fantasy: No, no! Chest! Chest! Horror: Oh, uh, chest. Chest. Ah, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! [singing] Yo, ho, ho! And a bottle of rum! Richard Tyler: Aah! Aaaaaah...! Tom Morgan: Evil spirits! Horror: Hee, hee! [jumping off the tree with a vine] SANCTUARY! [knocks the pirates down, then landed on the ground] Huh! Richard Tyler: Horror, you are alive! Tom Morgan: [using the gun with Horror] Not for long! Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee! Horror: Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Dialogue

Horror: Ahoy, matey! Aye, we're lusty, adventurous men. Adventure: Go away. You don't know what you're talking about. Horror: I...I know I'm not your favorite kind of book, but I could be just like you. Adventure: [stops at his tracks, and yells angrily at Horror] You'll never be Adventure! Ye ain't got the spine for it! And take that stupid thing off! [storms off] Horror: [taking a bandana off his head] Sorry. Adventure: [muttering] Oh, he thinks he can be a pirate...

Dialogue

Richard Tyler: Where's Horror? Wasn't he with you? Adventure: He was, but he...I mean, I sort of...uh..he, uh.... Fantasy: [angrily] Ohh, what did you say to him now?! Adventure: Well, I-I...I just...uh, I'll go find him. Fantasy: Yeah, you better go find him. And be quick about it!

Dialogue

Adventure: He had a good heart, and he was braver than ye knew. I...I'd walk the plank if I thought it would bring ye back. Horror: [wakes up] That's beautiful.

Dialogue

Richard Tyler: [on seeing the Pagemaster again] Hey! How did you get here?! Fantasy: [through her teeth] Quit it! We're in the presence of the Pagemaster! Richard Tyler: I know who he is. He's the one who did THIS to me! Do you have any idea what I've been through?! Pagemaster: Tell me. Richard Tyler: I was nearly torn apart by a crazy doctor! I was made a slave by a bunch of mangy pirates! And eaten! Got that?! Eaten! By a fire-breathing dragon! Horror: He don't mean it, my Pagemaster. He don't mean it. Richard Tyler: And not to mention being tossed, squashed, and scared practically to death! Pagemaster: Yet you stand before me. Richard Tyler: Well, yeah. Pagemaster: Think, boy! What kind of an adventure would you have had if I brought you here with the turn of a page? Dr. Jekyll: You prevailed over evil. [morphs into Captain Ahab] Captain Ahab: Ah, you looked Moby Dick in the eye, boy. [morphs into Long John Silver] Long John Silver: Ah, you had pirate stuff, me lad! And don't no one

Dialogue

Claire Tyler: I can't imagine where he could be. Maybe we should call the police. [gasps as the car parks in front of Richard's bicycle, lying down] Alan! [Alan stops the car; gets out] He's home! [Alan gets out] Alan. Alan Tyler: [sees the sleeping Richard in the treehouse] It's impossible. [goes up into the treehouse] Rich? Claire Tyler: [goes up into the treehouse and takes Richard's signature glasses] We probably should put him in his bed. Alan Tyler: Let's let him sleep up here tonight. [Claire goes down; uses hid coat as a blanket for Richard; turning off a lantern] Love you, Richie. [kisses his head; goes down the treehouse; and inside the house with Claire] Good night, son. [closes the door, leaves, and the living room light turn off] Fantasy: Ah! A happy ending. Adventure: Y'know what'd make this a real happy ending? A kiss. Horror: Okay. Adventure: Grr… I meant from her!