Quotes

Dialogue

Buddy: Did I ever tell you about the oysters? Idgie: Oysters? Buddy: I didn't tell you bout the oysters? Think about all the millions of oysters lying around on the bottom of the ocean. Then one day, God comes along and he says, "I think I'm gonna make that one different." and you know what he does? he puts a little piece of sand in it. and guess what it can do that the others can't. Idgie: What? Buddy: It can make a beautiful pearl. Idgie: What if God made a mistake? Buddy: Well, the way I figure it, he never makes mistakes. I mean, he made sure we got together. He made sure you got the best-looking most charming brother in the world!

Dialogue

Evelyn: [tearfully confiding her troubles to Ninny] I can't even look at my own vagina! Ninny: Now,I'm afraid I can't help you with that one.

Dialogue

Evelyn: Ed... If I'd answered the door wearing only cellophane, would you still be watching the baseball game? Ed: No, honey, I'd probably be checking you into a loony bin.

Dialogue

Idgie: It's a boy! Reverend Scroggins: I think a little prayer of thanksgiving would be in order.

Dialogue

Idgie: He won't even sit in the same room and have a meal today. Sipsey: Oh, it don't make no kind of sense. A big old ox like Grady won't sit next to a coloured child, but he eats eggs... shoots right out of a chicken's ass.

Dialogue

Evelyn: Excuse me. I was waiting for that space. Girl #1: Yeah? Tough! Girl #2: Face it, lady, we're younger and faster. Evelyn: ... Towanda. (screams and smashes into the car) Towanda!! Yes ma'am! Girl #2: What are you doing? Are you crazy!? Evelyn: Face it, girls. I'm older and I have more insurance.

Dialogue

Evelyn: I never get mad, Mrs Threadgoode. Never. The way I was raised, it was bad manners. Well, I got mad.. and it felt terrific! I felt like I could beat the shit out of all those punks. Excuse my language. Just beat 'em to a pulp. beat 'em till they begged for mercy! Towanda the avenger. And after I wipe out all the punks of this world, I'll take on the wife-beaters, like Frank Bennett, and machine-gun their genitals! Towanda will go on the rampage. I'll put tiny little bombs in Penthouse and Playboy so they'll explode when you open them. And I'll ban all fashion models who weigh less than 130 pounds. And I'll give half the military budget to people of 65 and declare wrinkles sexually desirable. Towanda, righter of wrongs, queen beyond compare! Ninny: How many of them hormones are you taking, honey?

Dialogue

Idgie: I can't believe he swore on the bible. Ruth: Well, not really. If that judge had looked any closer, he'd have seen it was really a copy of Moby Dick.

Dialogue

Ruth: I love your stories. Tell me a story, Idgie. Go on, you old bee charmer. Tell me a good tall tale. Tell me the one about the lake. Idgie: What lake? Ruth: The one that use to be here. Idgie: Well, that was just a lie. Ruth: I know that, fool. Tell me anyway. Tell me a story. Idgie: Uh, one time... there was this lake... And it was right outside of town. We used to go fishing and swimming and canoein' in it. And, uh, see, one November, this big flock of ducks came in.. and landed on that lake. And then the temperature dropped so fast that the lake just froze right there. And they... er... the ducks... they... flew off, you see, and they took that lake right with them. Now they say that lake is somewhere over in Georgia. Can you imagine that? [Walks over to Ruth, who has just passed away, and begins sobbing] Sipsey: [holding Idgie] It's okay, honey. Let her go...let her go. You know, Ruth was a lady, and a lady always knows when to leave.