Dark Shadows

Barnabas Collins: How soon can the horses be ready? Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: We don't have horses, we have a Chevy.

Dark Shadows (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Willie Loomis: Captain Clarney, I'd like you to meet Barnabas Collins. Clarney: Collins? And uh, why does a Collins want to talk to me? Barnabas Collins: To offer you a contract. Clarney: I have a contract. With Angel Bay. Barnabas Collins: And if I told you I could offer you a better one? Clarney: Then, Mr. Collins, I would tell you to take a long walk off a short pier.

Dark Shadows (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Roger Collins: Don't you mind that the villagers will think you mad? Elizabeth Collins Stoddard: Of course I mind! But I'd mind more suffocating to death in a coffin---THAT is my choice.

Dark Shadows (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Barnabas Collins: The Collinses have always held the biggest and most expensive balls. Roger Collins: That's what I've been saying, this family needs more balls!

Dark Shadows (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Angelique Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box. Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly!

Dark Shadows (film), CC BY-SA 4.0