Quotes

Dialogue

Robbie: Sir, one more outburst and I will strangle you with my microphone wire, you understand me? Father of the Bride: Hey, buddy, I'm not paying you to share your thoughts on life. I'm paying you to sing. Robbie: Well, I have a microphone and you don't, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!!

Dialogue

Mr. Simms: Do you have any experience? Robbie: No, sir, I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

Dialogue

David "Dave" Veltri: [drunk] When my brother, Harold, asked me to be the Best Man at his wedding, I was like, [chuckles] "Of course, man." 'Cause you've always been there for me. Like when I was in rehab, and, uh, the time I couldn't find my car. 'Cause Harold, ya know, he's always been the dependable one - and I've always been the screwed up one, right, Dad? [chuckles] "Why can't you be more like your brother? Harold would never beat up his landlord!" [laughing] Groomsman: [whispering to other groomsmen] He's drunk as shit. Dave: [laughs then coughs a little] But, uh, little newsflash, Pop: Harold ain't so perfect. [to Harold] Remember that time in Puerto Rico, we picked up those two, uh... I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember payin'. Robbie: [comes up on stage and grabs mike from Dave] Okay, how 'bout that! Yeah, terrific. Dave: I'm a person too, Pop, goddammit! I'm a person too! Mr. Veltri: You're a moron! Robbie: The Best Man, everybody. Dave: The best man, the bette

Dialogue

Julia: May I ask what happened with Linda? Robbie: She wasn't the right one, I guess. Julia: Did you have any idea she wasn't the right one when you were together? Robbie: I should have. Uh, I remember we went to the Grand Canyon one time. We were flying there and I'd never been there before and Linda had, so you would think that she would give me the window seat but she didn't and... not that that's a big deal, you know. It's just there were a lot of little things like that. I know that sounds stupid... Julia: Not at all. I think it's the little things that count.

Dialogue

Robbie: Hey, you're late. Linda: I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it. Robbie: Well, if you need some more time, I guess I can wait. Linda: No, I don't need more time, Robbie. I don't ever wanna marry you. Robbie: Jeez, you know, that information might have been a little more useful to me yesterday. Linda: I've been talking to my friends the last couple of days... Robbie: Uggh...here it comes. Linda: ...and I've been figuring out what's been bothering me. I'm not in love with Robbie 'now'. I'm in love with Robbie '6 years ago'. Robbie the lead singer of Final Warning... when I used to come and watch you in the front row with your spandex pants...your silk shirt unbuttoned...licking the microphone like David Lee Roth... Robbie: I still got the spandex. I'll put 'em on right now. Linda: The point is I woke up this morning and realized, I'm about to marry a wedding singer. I am never gonna leave Ridgefield! Robbie: Why do you need to leave Ridgefield? We grew up here. All our friends are here

Dialogue

Sammy: Uh oh. Robbie: What? Sammy: You like her. Robbie: No, I don't! Sammy: Of course you do. She's a cool chick with a hot ass. Robbie: You talk about her ass again, I'll break your neck.

Dialogue

Robbie: How much is it? Flight Attendant: It's free. Robbie: It's what? Holy shit, this is incredible. Actually, I shouldn't drink. I fell in love with this girl who's going to marry an idiot, so I'm on my way to Vegas to stop them. Female Passenger: [overhears] That's the sweetest thing I have ever heard! Where are they getting married? Robbie: That's the problem, I don't know where, but I'm going to run around and find them. I got to do what I got to do.

Dialogue

Billy Idol: How you doin', sir - chicken or fish? Glenn: You better get out of my way, Billy. You're gonna get hurt! Billy Idol: Oh yeah? Biker: [steps between them and faces Glenn] Don't you talk to Billy Idol that way!