Quotes

Dialogue

9-Year-Old Norbit: What did you do that for? One of the Bullies: 'Cause we felt like it. Both Bullies: What are you gonna do about it? 10-Year-Old Rasputia: [to the bullies] Leave him alone. Both Bullies: Says who? 9-Year-Old Norbit: Who are you? 10-Year-Old Rasputia: Rasputia. What's your name? 9-Year-Old Norbit: Norbit. 10-Year-Old Rasputia: "Norbit"? That's a stupid name. 9-Year-Old Norbit: Why'd you beat those boys up? 9-Year-Old Norbit: Uh, Norbit. No... 10-Year-Old Rasputia: Well, you do now. Get up and hold my hand. 9-Year-Old Norbit: Okay. [the source of Rasputia's catchphrase] How you doing?

Dialogue

Deion: [screaming] THAT'S ENOUGH!! THAT'S ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! ENOUGH!! Stop the music! Pope Sweet Jesus: Hold on... Deion: [cuts Pope off] Shut up! You two, shut up! That's it. This is husband-and-wife time. Now, let's go. Let's go. Husband-and-wife stuff. Preacher: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today... Norbit: I object! Preacher: [frustrated] Oh, for Christ sake! Mr. Wong: [pleased] Norbit. Pope Sweet Jesus and Lord Have Mercy: [cheers] Norbit! Kate: [surprised] Norbit! Choir: [singing] Norbit-t-t-t! Norbit: This wedding's a sham and I'm here to stop it. Kate: Norbit, what are you doing? Norbit: I'm bein' a man for the first time in my life. Kate... Kate, I love you. Rasputia: [Rasputia, Big Jack, and Earl stormed into the church] What the hell did you just say?! Norbit: You heard what I said, strumpet! I love Kate! That right! I love you, Kate! And the last two weeks I spent with you have meant more to me than my whole entire miserable life with you, Rasputia!

Dialogue

Rasputia: [laughs after Kate doesn't believe Norbit's story about Deion is a corrupt goldigger/cheater] Well, well, well, Norbit. You lose again! Once a loser, always a loser. Now, come on! Let's go! Norbit: [to Kate] Yeah, I thought you'd feel that way about it, Kate. And that's why I took the liberty of inviting some of Deion's ex-wives down so maybe they can tell you for themselves. LADIES! Ex-Wife #1: Hello, Antoine! I've been looking everywhere for you. Children: Daddy! Ex-Wife #2: Antoine? He told me his name was Luther! Rasputia: Who is that? Ex-Wife #3: Luther? He told me he was gay! Deion: No, no, no. Y'all got me confused with my gay twin brother, Antoine Luther. Ex-Wife #1: [angry] You dead, goldigger! Deion: [the wives and children are going towards him] I'm out! Pope Sweet Jesus: Look's like the wedding's off, bro. Lord Have Mercy: Church! Big Jack: Dammit, Norbit! Norbit: Oh, snap!