Splash

Freddie: [excitedly waves an issue of Penthouse magazine] They published my letter. Here it is, "A lesbian no more". They published my letter. Stan: Welcome to the Statue of Liberty. The statue is a gift from French citizens that has come to symbolize hope for naked women everywhere.

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Allen: Are there any messages? Mrs. Stimler: Oh, yes. [goes back to working] Allen: [pause] And they are? Mrs. Stimler: Huh? Oh, your father called. He wants you to call him back. Allen: [pauses] Mrs. Stimler, our father passed away about five years ago. Do you remember? Mrs. Stimler: [confused look] Right. Shall I get him for you? Allen: No, thank you.

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Allen: You know by the time I got there, she was already gone. Freddie: Victoria left, huh? Allen: Yeah. You know why she left, Freddie? Because I didn't love her. Freddie: That bitch.

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Wedding Guest: Hey, Allen! Where's Victoria? Allen: She's not coming! What, do you want your money back?! Guest: Hey, Allen! Allen: She left me! She moved out and my life's shambles, all right? That's the news, you want the weather? Anywhere but the first three rows!

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Freddie: You see, drinking is a matter of algebraic ratio. How drunk you get is caused by the amount of alcohol you consume in relation to your total body weight. You see my point? It's not that you had too much to drink. You're just too skinny. Freddie: Bartender! Another round for my friend and I here! Allen: No, no, Freddie! I don't want to get drunk! Freddie: But you are drunk. You see, a sober person would have reached for the pretzels. Bartender: Is he gonna be up there all day? Freddie: I don't know. Allen: [coming to] Ohh... I'm on the bar! Freddie: Oh, you're on the bar. Here, let me help you down. Freddie: Uh-oh, you fell.

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Claude: There's a guy down the beach that runs people out to the island. Allen: What's the name? Claude: The guy or the island? Allen: I'll find him.

Splash (film), CC BY-SA 4.0