8 Simple Rules

Paul: So Rory, what do you like most about James Bond? Rory: Hmm...I like that he has a license to kill. Paul: (hears car horn) Me too. Kyle: (answering cell phone) Wassup my brotha from anotha motha? Paul: Uh, Bridget, why are you dressed like that? Kerry: Must be casual sex day at school. Bridget: Hey, at least I get... Bridget: ...look good. Paul: Okay, Cupcake, I think you missed the word "under" in underwear because I can see your bra and that slingshot you're wearing under your pants. Bridget: It's a thong. Paul: It's floss. Bridget: I can't wear anything else. Panty lines - Hello? Paul: Panty lines - Hello, are fine. Actually they were a pretty big deal in my day. Bridget: Well, we're the thong generation. Paul: Well, maybe that's why your generation is so angry. You're walking around with a wedgie.

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bridget and Kerry: (both yelling at each other) I'm gonna kill you!! Paul: Girls don't kill each other. (the girls still yell at each other; Paul waits a moment) At least I said it. Bridget: No, Dad, it was coral. I can't wear a coral. I mean look at me. Hello, I'm a summer. Paul: Does everyone have a cell phone? How much am I paying for these? Bridget: Dad, you get the phones for free. Cate: I just got here. I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine. Do you think you can drop by the pharmacy? Paul: Oh man. You know I hate picking up that stuff. Cate: No, no, no. It's really allergy medicine this time. Cate: Keep Bridget off the phone and out of the mall. Paul: I'm a man, not a miracle worker. Paul: I do care, Kerry and I'll care even more when the game is over!

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mom also said I was ready for fatherhood.

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0

Off you go.

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0

Travis: Holla. Kerry: Holla back, brotha. Travis: Uh-huh. Paul: Come on Cate, dance with me. Cate: Oh, no, I'm not going to embarrass my daughter. Paul: Fine, I'll dance by myself. Paul: What's it called when you're damned it you do, damned if you don't? Fatherhood. Paul: Bridget, wipe your feet and take off the boy. Rory: Can I sit in the cart? Cate: No! Kerry: He thinks of me as some sort of virgin spinster, like Miss Havisham.(Bridget has a confused look on her face) Great Expectations…? (Bridget’s still confused) Charles Dickens…? (Bridget’s still confused) A book…? Bridget: She’s in bed with him, and you do nothing? Kerry: We’re on a bed, not in a bed. Learn a preposition.

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0

Paul: Is my little girl a cheerleader? Kerry: Yes, she is!

8 Simple Rules, CC BY-SA 4.0