Quotes

Dialogue

Dracula: I want happy couples, unsuspecting tourists, a handful of nuns, a... a busload of cheerleaders. Renfield: [to himself] And I just want a normal life. A busload of cheerleaders? Dracula: A busload of cheerleaders will get me back to full power like that. [snaps fingers] Renfield: Do you mean female cheerleaders? Dracula: Don't make it a sexual thing! Renfield: No, no. I did not say it was. Dracula: You know it's not the gender I'm concerned with. I eat boys, I eat girls. It's the purity!

Dialogue

Mark: What if you were to stop focusing on his needs, what would happen? Renfield: He won't grow to full power. Mark: Exactly. He won't grow to full power. What? That's so weird. Why would you phrase it like that? But, yes.

Dialogue

Rebecca: You get Dracula people to eat? Renfield: I do other stuff too. Rebecca: Like what? Wash his cape? Renfield: No. It's dry-clean only.

Dialogue

Dracula: I use my power for a lot of things. But I didn't need to use it on you; you were a lawyer who wanted to get rich off a real-estate deal. You're the one who used me! You used my power because you're a husk! An empty void that nothing can fill. The only thing that gave your life any meaning was my power. The power you used to bring me victims while you pretended to be one yourself! However, I'm the real victim here! I'm the one you swore to protect! And you... ABANDONED ME! Renfield: No. That's not true. Dracula: Just like you abandoned your wife and your daughter. Renfield: That's not-- I didn't-- I didn't abandon them. Dracula: Look into your own eyes, Renfield. You're the monster, Renfield -- not me. It's you.

Dialogue

Mark: Hi! You here for the meeting? Well, come on in! Renfield: No, no! NO! Mark: You can leave your top-hat and cane by the door. Dracula: Renfield... I'm feeling much better. Mark: Would you like to introduce yourself to the group? Dracula: I'm the prince of Wallachia. Some call me the Dark One. Others, the Lord of Death. However, to most, I am known simply as... Trevante: Renfield's boss! Dracula: I... am... Dracula. Mark: Okay, obviously we're dealing with a little bit more than just narcissism here.

Dialogue

Tedward Lobo: Do you know who the fuck I am? I'm Teddy fucking Lobo. Dracula: I am Count Dracula. Tedward Lobo: You win.

Dialogue

Dracula: Some call me the dark one; others, the lord of death. To most, I am simply known as... Trevante: Renfield's boss!

Dialogue

Dracula: Whatever pain Renfield caused you, I will return ten thousand fold. I will unleash an army of death whilst warming my skin next to mountains of burning corpses. How does that sound to you? Tedward Lobo: It sounds like you got to meet my mom.

Dialogue

Rebecca: Did you cut that guy's hands off with a serving platter? Renfield: It's all in the wrist.

Dialogue

Renfield: Any last wishes? Dracula: I wish... to spend a season in Hell. Where all the amusing people are. HAIL... SATA-- Renfield: [narrating] Yes, I know this looks extreme - and maybe a little fun - but to our defence, there is so much folklore out there about how to actually kill a vampire, it gets confusing. You know, I've personally seen him come back from some crazy shit, so why not try everything? Now, I've not even 100% sure this will kill him. But I do know it will take him a long, long time to come back from.