The Untouchables

Reporter: An article, which I believe appeared in a newspaper, asked why, since you are, or it would seem that you are, in effect, the mayor of Chicago, you've not simply been appointed to that position. Capone: Well, I'll tell ya, you know, it's touching. Like a lot of things in life, we laugh because it's funny and we laugh because it's true. Now, some people will say - reformers, they'll say, 'Put that man in jail! What does he think he is doing?' Well, what I hope I'm doing, and here's where your English paper's got a point, is - I'm responding to the will of the people.

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ness: We have several operations in the works, so we're rather busy, Alderman. What can we do for you? Alderman: I came up to congratulate you on a job well done. Share your good fortune on such a lovely day. Ness: What's that? Ness: What is that? Alderman: Mr. Ness, you're an educated man. Let me pay you the compliment of being blunt. There's a large, a large and popular business that you are causing dismay. Why don't you just cross the street and let things take their course? Ness: [Summoning the team] Would you come in here please? [as the team enters] In Roman times, when a fellow was convicted of trying to bribe a public official, they would cut off his nose, and sew him in a bag with a wild animal, and throw that bag in the river. [picking up the bribe and throwing it at the Alderman] You tell your master that we must agree to disagree! Alderman: You're making a mistake. Ness: Yeah I know, well I've made them before I'm beginning to enjoy them. Alderman: You fellows are untouchab

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0

Malone: You said you wanted to know how to get Capone. [Ness nods] Do you really want to get him? [pause] You see what I'm saying? What are you prepared to do? Ness: Everything within the law. Malone: And then what are you prepared to do? If you open the ball on these people, Mr. Ness, you must be prepared to go all the way. Because they won't give up the fight, until one of you is dead. Ness: I want to get Capone. I don't know how to get him. Malone: You want to get Capone? Here's how you get him. He pulls a knife? You pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital? You send one of his to the morgue! That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now, do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that? I'm making you a deal. Do you want this deal? Ness: I have sworn to put this man away with any and all legal means at my disposal, and I will do so. Malone: Well, the Lord hates a coward. [shakes Ness' hand] Do you know what a blood oath is, Mr. Ness? Ness: Yes. Malone: Good, b

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0

Malone: [piercingly] Where are you from, Stone? Stone: [smiling] From the South Side. Malone: "Stone?" "George Stone?" That's your name? What's your real name? Stone: That is my real name. Malone: Nah, what was it before you changed it? Stone: [his smile fading] Giuseppe Petri. Malone: Geez, I knew it! That's all you need, one thievin' Wop on the team! Stone: [offended] What's that you say? Malone: [poking him belligerently in the chest with his clipboard] I said that you're a lyin' member of a no-good race! Stone: [coldly] It's much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig. Malone: [suddenly Malone is quite amused, saying to Ness] Oh, I like him. Ness: [nervously] Yeah, I like him too. Malone: You just joined the Treasury Department, son. Stone: [smiles] Yeah, okay.

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0

Malone: [at the post office] Well, here we are. Ness: What are we doing here? Malone: Liquor raid. Ness: [looking at the police station across the street] Here? Malone: Mr. Ness, everybody knows where the booze is. The problem isn't finding it, the problem is who wants to cross Capone.

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0

Malone: [Enters and fires into the air] Federal officers! Ness: Get your hands in the air! Nobody move! Malone: This is a raid! Ness: Everybody into the center of the room! Hood: What are you doing here? Malone: All this stuff is impounded! You're all under arrest! Hood: Hey, this isn't right! Hey, this is no good! You got a warrant? Malone: Sure, here's my warrant! [Punches him twice in the stomach. He collapses] How do you think he feels now? Better? Or worse?

The Untouchables, CC BY-SA 4.0