Quotes

Pilot [1.1]

Chris Potter: Kenan, this is coming out of your paycheck! Now, clean up these puffs, pronto! Chris: Kel, you're fired! Kel Kimble: I don't work here. Chris: Well, see to it that you don't.

Doing Things the Hemingway [1.3]

[as he hangs by a ladder from a helicopter, after his pants and underpants have accidentally been ripped off] It's cold up here!

Mental Kel-Epathy [1.4]

I'm not psychic, I can't predict the future, I'm still confused about the past!

Duh Bomb [1.5]

Chris: Hey! Hey! What happened to my store? Why are people waving Orange soda in the air as if they just don't care? Guy with Piercings: Hey, three bucks to get in, Dude! Chris: Listen, this is MY store! And take those pins out of your head!

Mo' Sweater Blues [1.6]

Kenan: Ooh, wow! This is a nice sweater. Brianna: Thanks. My Grandma knitted it for me, before she passed away. Kenan: Oh, that is so nice--I, I mean, not that your Grandmama passed away, but I'm sayin' that she knitted it, before--it's a very nice sweater. Brianna: Thanks. I only wear it on special occasions.

Mo' Sweater Blues [1.6]

Roger Rockmore: Kenan... Kenan: Pop... Roger: What in the world's goin' on here? And what is Kyra doin' here? Sheryl Rockmore: And, boy, where in the world are your pants?

Mo' Sweater Blues [1.6]

Kenan: Tell your Grandmama I'm sorry! Kenan: What? Kel: Her Grandmama's dead! Kenan and Kel: [In unison] Oh, man!

Diamonds Are for Roger [1.7]

Kenan: Hey, man, what'd you do? Kel: I closed the door. Kenan: WHY?!!!

The Cold War [1.8]

Roger: [notices a pilot has parachuted out of a plane thanks to Kenan's and Kel's Intervention] He jumped out? Why? Where'd the plane go? Kenan and Kel: Nebraska!

Dial 'O' for Oops [1.10]

Kenan: I'm gonna ask Amy out. That's all there is to it. Kel: But Kenan, your dad said... Kenan: Kel! My father's married. He doesn't understand what it feels like to love a woman.

Baggin' Saggin' Kel [1.12]

Kel: "Help! Can anybody hear me? I'm trapped down here with a can of tuna fish! Kenan!"<br> Kenan: "What'cha doing in the bag, Kel?"<br> Chris: "You're letting us down, Kel. Rigby's is going to lose and it's gonna be all your fault!"<br> Kenan: "Kel! You're not supposed to put yourself in the bag, kooky!"<br> Kel: "I think I'm dreaming or something."<br> Mysterious voice: "Kel! Kel!"<br> Kel: "Who are you?!"<br> Kel: "AAHH! NO!"<br> Angus: "Hi, Kel; it's Angus. You can't even win this contest in your dreams!" Angus: "LOSER! LOSER! KEL'S A LOSER!"

Baggin' Saggin' Kel [1.12]

Kel: "I can handle this myself!"<br> Kenan: "Bruh, you can't handle cartoons by yourself!"<br>

Baggin' Saggin' Kel [1.12]

Chris: "Wait a minute! Are you trying to tell me that we beat Angus through trickery and deceit?!"<br> Kenan and Kel: "Yeah...we're sorry...I guess...I'm terribly sorry..."<br> Chris: "...I LOVE YOU GUYS!"<br>

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

Kenan: Come on, man. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't go check out that safe. Kel: That safe doesn't belong to us. Kenan: So? Finders keepers. Kel: Losers dead!

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

[looking at the map, while he and Kel are in the storage room of Rigby's] Here's Rigby's, and here we are in the storage room, and I figure I'm standing right about...

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

...here, where my thumb is.

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

[he is standing on Kenan's left side] Okay, where am I standing?

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

You're right by my thumb.

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

Look! Now I'm on the other side of your thumb!

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

You're on the other side of intelligent! Now, hush, so I can find the safe! Okay; it says "safe" right here...

Safe and Sorry [1.13]

Or "sofa"...

Pair-Rental Guidance [2.1]

William Buckman III: Roger! I am Roger, Kenan's father! Roger! Martha: And I am...uh...who am I again? Martha: Oh, yeah; I'm...Sterile. Principal Dimly: Well, it's nice to meet both of you. Why don't we step into my office. Roger: [After Kenan's scheme for his fake parents to meet his principal backfires] Who are all of you? William Buckman III: Er, uh... we're the Rockmores! Sheryl: We're the Rockmores. Principal Dimly: I'm confused. Kel: I'm outta here.

Pair-Rental Guidance [2.1]

Kel: Uh! Kenan: [starts to cry] I'm in trouble.

Clowning Around [2.2]

[Both are tied up on the shop floor, crying] WE'VE BEEN ROBBED BY A CLOWN!!

Who Loves Orange Soda? [2.4]

[to Kel] Oh, man. Your insides are more orange than a Nickelodeon logo!

Haven't Got Time for the Paint [2.5]

Kel: [shows a painting of a beautiful sunset on a beach, which he has titled "Sunset Funset"] Hey, Chris. Check it out. Chris: Wow! That's terrific. Who's the artist? Kel: Me. Chris: You? Kel: Yeah. I painted it in art class. Chris: Wow. I'm impressed. I always thought you were talentless. Kel: Man, thanks!

Ditch Day Afternoon [2.7]

Aww man, I knew we shoulda gone to school.

Ditch Day Afternoon [2.7]

Chris: What's with all the hullabaloo? Kenan and Kel: [Look at each other, and then raise their arms confused] Hullabaloo?... Chris: You know what I mean.

Get the Kel Outta Here [2.8]

Kenan: [of Kyra's sculpture] What are you studying? Nasty freak monsters? Kyra Rockmore: This head happens to look exactly like Kel. Kenan: Like I said, what you studying? Nasty freak monsters? Kel: [Stops laughing] Hey, wait a minute!

Foul Bull [2.9]

Kenan: [Sees news article on Chicago blaming them for Ron Harper's injury] Oh no! Kel: Aw man! Kenan: Kel, look! Kel: I know, man. The Pope has canceled his trip to Acapulco!

The Crush [2.10]

[to Kenan] When you have kids, can they call me Uncle Kel Kel? "Hey, Uncle Kel Kel! We love you, Uncle Kel Kel! Do that funky dance, Uncle Kel Kel"!

Turkey Day [2.11]

[before eating the turkey] Oh; it's on.

Turkey Day [2.11]

Kyra: [Kenan is setting the table for Thanksgiving dinner] Hey Kenan, whatcha doing? Kenan: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm setting the table. Kyra: Yeah; setting it wrong.

Bye Bye Kenan: Part 2 [2.13]

Pummis sucks beans! Aw, family...my job isn't anything like I thought it would be. All they want me to do is just sit there all day long in the middle of nowhere, doing...nothing.

Bye Bye Kenan: Part 2 [2.13]

Well, what did you think a wilderness mountain ranger did-duh?

Bye Bye Kenan: Part 2 [2.13]

I don't know; fun...mountain-related things.

Bye Bye Kenan: Part 2 [2.13]

I can't take this no more. See, I hate my school...he hates his job...and I think it's safe to say that none of us are particularly enjoying this nasty shack we're livin' in.

Bye Bye Kenan: Part 2 [2.13]

So, come on home with me to Chicago!

Skunkator vs. Mothman [3.2]

Kenan: [After He and Kel return from the comic book convention, having left Sharla to fend for herself] Hey Sharla, I'm ba... What happened? Kel: Well, Obviously the register broke, the ice machine overflowed and the hot dogs caught on fire. Kenan: Duh.

The Raffle [3.3]

Kenan: [after buying an inexpensive television] Man! Why'd you have to break the video camera? No, no, better yet...why'd you lose the winnin' raffle ticket? No, no..why'd you have to break Chris's TV ?! Kel: It was an accident. It was an accident.

The Raffle [3.3]

Kel: I had to get my balloon back. Kenan: Oh, man. I'm-- I'm dead. Oh, I'm dead. I'm de-dead. Kel: [singing] DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAN, DEAD, DEAD, KENAN, KENAAAAAAAN! Kenan: STOP IT! Kel: I'm sorry, I can't get that tune out of my head.

The Chicago Witch Trials [3.4]

Becky: The Salem Witch Trials were held in Salem, Massachusetts in the year 1692. Teacher: Very good! Becky: Twenty people were falsely accused of being witches. With little or no evidence they were put to death. Marc: Well, maybe they were witches. Kenan: Oh come on! Everybody knows that there's no such thing as witches. Becky: That's not true. There are witches, there are a *lot* of witches. Teacher: Well it is true that people actually still practice witchcraft. Becky: That's right, but that doesn't make them evil monsters. Most of the people who practice witchcraft are normal like you, or you, or me! Kenan: Ah! Normal people, like you! [his chair breaks]

To Catch a Thief [3.5]

Kel: Maybe a ninja stole your watch! He broke into your room all like, "I'm a ninja! I'm a ninja!" Chris: Now Kenan, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions Chris: THIEF! Kenan: WHYYYYYYYY??? Marc Cram: I am so A-N-G-R-Y! Kel: Your hungry? All: ANGRY! Mrs. Cram: You people are the worst neighbors in the entire world!

I.Q. Can Do Better [3.7]

Kenan: There is no way that I have a 3, okay?! I mean, this has gotta be some kinda mistake or somethin'. Kel: Wait a minute, Kenan. Maybe 3 isn't such a bad score. Let's look at the chart.

I.Q. Can Do Better [3.7]

Kel: 90 and above is "genius". That's me! Okay, okay...3...3..."near genius"..."above average"..."below average"... Kenan: Aw, that's enough, Kel. Kel: "Way below average"..."dumb"...oh, oh; 3, 3, here it is, right here...n-never mind.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Kel: You're out of orange soda. Kenan: That's impossible; I just put some in the refrigerator. Kel: Yeah, and you're out of refrigerators, too.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[to Kel, after realizing that the two titular so-called "bug sprayers" were actually burglars] Those bug men stole our stuff, man!

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Or maybe they just took it back to headquarters to make sure they sprayed it...real, real good.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Officer Mensoni: [Seeing Kel passed out on the floor] What's wrong with him? Kenan: A lot of things. Basically, he just passed out when he found out what had happened.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Well, we've completed our investigation, and we've come to the conclusion that you...were robbed.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[feigning shock] We were robbed?! I think it's pretty obvious that we were burgled.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[in unison; confused] ' Burgled '?...

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Robbed!

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

That's not necessarily so. Those bug men could've just taken all your stuff back to headquarters to make sure they sprayed everything really good.

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[chuckling] Hey, that's what I said!

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[to Officer Mensoni] Will you drop it?! They were robbed!

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

[to Kenan and Kel] Oh...well, I 'm thirsty; you guys got any orange soda?

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Who loves orange soda?

Attack of the Bug Man [3.8]

Officer Mensoni loves orange soda...

Housesitter [3.13]

Hey, I'm home. What the?!...KENAN!!

Picture Imperfect [3.17]

Marc Cram: You just destroyed the "M"'s through "Z"'s... Kenan: WHYYYYYYYY???!!!!

The Honeymoon's Over [4.2]

[after Sheryl kicks him out of the living room] Fine! I don't wanna be in your stupid old book club, anyhow! Oh, and by the way; I found Petals of Sorrow to be amateurish, The Exposition was tedious, and the characters were one-dimensional! Heard what I said?! One-dimensional!

Oh, Brother [4.10]

You just lost a customer bub, I'm never taking any free stuff from this store again!

Oh, Brother [4.10]

Kenan: All we have to do is make it seem that Chris' life is interesting. Give me the phone. Kel: Oh I see where your going with this. When Chris' brother sees him with this phone he will be so impressed!

Ending Random Items Gag

All we need is some raccoon juice.

Ending Random Items Gag

Kenan: Kel, get a bucket of glue and meet me at the church. Let's go on to the church. Kel: Kenan! No, no! You're gonna get people all sticky. Kenan, thou shalt not glue! K-Kenan? Aw, here it goes!

Ending Random Items Gag

...a tarantula, a drum set and a mannequin and meet me at Bill's house.

Ending Random Items Gag

My house? Oh, you ain't goin' to my house...

Ending Random Items Gag

Kenan, that's a lot of stuff! How am I supposed to carry all that? I'm the man! Awwww, here it goes!!!