Cats & Dogs

Butch: How could this have happened?! Control: It was an accident. He slipped through. Butch: You promised me a professional! And what do I get?! A puppy! I mean, he's still got his you-know-whats, for crying out loud! Control: There's no time, Butch. The puppy stays. End of discussion. Out.

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Tinkles: So tell me, one of you - is the dog out of the way? Did the puppy fall for my clever trap, hmm? None of you have a tale to tell, hmm? A little story for me, perhaps? [to Calico] You! Tell me! Is the game afoot? Calico: Err... yes? Mr. Tinkles: WHY IS THE GAME AFOOT?! [lightning flashes] Calico: I-I mean-- I mean, no! Mr. Tinkles: Ah, excellent. So the puppy is dead. Now we can move onto-- Calico: Wait, wait, err... can I change my answer? Mr. Tinkles: Is the puppy alive or not?! Calico: Well, a-another dog told him it was a bomb. Mr. Tinkles: Another dog? Calico: Anyway, I'm sure we'll get into the basement lab just fine. Right, guys? [silence] Guys! [the other cats at the meeting voice their agreement] See? Project Dark Cloud should go down without a hitch-- Mr. Tinkles: "Dark Cloud"? Is that what I'm calling my plan?! "Dark Cloud"?! Calico: Not that I know of! Err, what were you calling it...? Cat: [from offscreen] "Dark Storm"! Calico: "Storm"! Mr. Tinkles: "Dark Storm,

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Tinkles: When I rule the Earth, you will be the first on my list! Calico: [chuckles, hiding behind a toilet] You should keep your hair like that, it's very slimming. Mr. Tinkles: There's plenty of room on that list for you. Calico: [emerging] No, I mean it. Mr. Tinkes: [growls] We only have a few days to succeed, and although playing pet for that sick old man upstairs is key to my ingenious scheme, I cannot stand this humiliation any longer! Am I clear?!

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0

Ivy: Hey, can I show you something terrific? [leaps into the skip and tosses out a roast chicken] The Brodys have the best garbage on the block! Go on, take a bite! Lou: [tasting the chicken] Oh my... whoa! You mean this is what they get to eat? What a gyp! Ivy: Mmm, glad I'm not the only one excited about the chicken. I was beginning to think I've been a stray too long. Lou: Stray? Cool... I've never met a stray. [chuckles nervously] Ivy: Actually, I prefer "domestically challenged." Lou: [trying to sound tough] Well, Miss Challenged, I'm sorry, but I think you gotta leave! My orders are clear! I am not gonna permit-- Ivy: [jumps down in front of him] Orders? Lou: That's right! I'm a secret agent! Ivy: [amused] An agent? Why, you're a little small for an agent. Shouldn't you be busy having fun? Lou: I don't have time for fun! Ivy: Ooh, tough guy... [she tickles his neck and belly, making him roll over in pleasure] Stop with the agent stuff, okay? You have your very own kid to play wit

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lou: [After Mrs. Brody brings home a Russian Blue kitten] I'm onto you kitty, and you're in big trouble. Russian Blue: [Deep, male Russian voice] I think not, baby puppy. It is you who is in trouble. Lou: Ugh, yuck! Russian Blue: From Russia with love... Lou: Uh-oh... Russian Blue: ...stealth poop. Mrs. Brody: I don't have time for this. Bad dog!

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Tinkles: [over the phone, in a taunting "nyah nyah" sing-song] Meow-meow-me-meow-meow! How many dogs does it take to overthrow mankind? Just one stupid puppy. Lou: Where is my family?! Mr. Tinkles: Oh, they're alive... for now. But it won't matter. You see, I've-- Mr. Tinkles: THIS ISN'T NASCAR, YOU IDIOT! [clears throat] I have seized the professor's formula, and in a mere hour I will reverse it, giving me the power to make all humans allergic to dogs! Butch: What?! Mr. Tinkles: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GLOAT GLEEFULLY WHEN YOU'RE DRIVING LIKE A CHIMPANZEE?!? I MEAN, REALLY! [clears throat again] Now I will make all of humanity violently allergic to your wretched kind, and when you are all hated and despised by those you protect, you will be CAST OUT, leaving me to lead all of cat-kind in a glorious revolution to conquer the world! [laughs evilly] Lou: What will we do? Butch: "We"? You just handed the world back to the cats and doomed the human race forever! There's nothing left to do

Cats & Dogs, CC BY-SA 4.0