Quotes

Dialogue

Annie: Sam, breathe for me. Take deep breathes. Good. Now listen to me. It's gonna go amazing, because you know why? Sam: Why? Annie: Because it has to. You are the voice of our generation. Sam: ...That's a lot of pressure. Annie: Sorry.

Dialogue

Sam: Hey. Uhm. When I go in there, would you mind keeping an eye on him? Receptionist: What's his name? Sam: Err.. Ask him. He likes to chat.

Dialogue

Paul Gertmanian: It's tightly-paced, it's funny, engaging characters than sound like real people, but uhm... How to put this? Your protagonist, Alan-- Sam: Alex. Paul: Right. I don't know if you want people to love this guy or hate this guy. He's kind of ambitious, he's kind of mature, he's kind of just kind of. Novels are tricky, Sam. Susan says your short stories are wonderful, but it seems to us that you haven't entirely adapted to the longer form. The novel requires a different kind of commitment than the short story.

Dialogue

Receptionist: Bye Rasheen! Rasheen: Bye!

Dialogue

Rasheen: Where are we going? Sam: Toy store. Rasheen: Yes! Sam: Kidding. We're getting you back home and out of my hair. You're not my responsibility.

Dialogue

Rasheen: I'm thirsty. Sam: Yeah, I know. I'm taking you to the place with the best water in the city.

Dialogue

Sam: So err... What's your name? Mississippi: Mississippi. Sam: That's your real name? Mississippi: It's what everyone calls me. Sam: Assuming it's also where you're from? Mississippi: Yes, sir. Sam: Wow, what are the odds of that, right?

Dialogue

Rasheen: Why can't I stay here? Sam: You can't stay here. Rasheen: Why not? Sam: 'Cause you can't. Rasheen: Why can't I? Sam: 'Cause I said so. Rasheen: I wanna stay here. Sam: You've made that very clear. You can't stay here.

Dialogue

Rasheen: Can I have a cookie? Sam: Dude, it's a party. You can have like ten cookies. Go crazy.

Dialogue

Mary Catherine: What's going on? Sam: I'm just, y'know, looking after him for a while. Mary Catherine: And you thought, I know what kids love; alopecia awareness parties. Sam: Kind of.

Dialogue

Annie: The first thing most people notice about me is that I am-- Random friend: Hot! Annie: Yes! That is correct. I'm super hot. I'm also, in addition to being super drunk, hairless. And unlike some of the hot gay men here, I do not wax. I have a very awesome auto-immune disorder that we're all gonna learn about right now.

Dialogue

Mary Catherine: Charlie, come home right now, I miss you. Charlie: Huh? Baby, you're breakin' up. Mary Catherine: Charlie? Charlie?

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Sam: Great party. I never noticed you didn't have hair. Annie: Really? I never mentioned it? Sam: No. Love you! Annie: Love you too.

Dialogue

Sam #2: I've got a question. Why aren't we better friends? Annie: Uhm, I wasn't aware we were friends. Sam #2: Oh, I, I, I think we would get along. Really well. Annie: Well. My best friend's name is Sam, Sam. I mean, seriously. How many Sams can a girl have in her life? Sam #2: Well you can call me Sam #2?

Dialogue

Annie: Help me out with something here, Sam number two. You work in legal, right? Sam #2: Yes. I do. Yes. Annie: Seventh floor. Why are you always lurking around down here? Sam #2: Oh come on. Everybody knows the party's on five. Philanthropic Giving! Woohoo!

Dialogue

Mary Catherine: Do you wanna know what I want? An omelette. Charlie: Oh, wait. I'm just curious. Why do you hate Los Angeles so much? Mary Catherine: Because it is the epicentre of all that is awful. Charlie: Wait. Dave told me this awesome thing about L.A.. No, listen. He says the whole town is like this blank canvas, and whatever you bring to it, that's what it is. It's just this random collection of neighbourhoods where it's always sunny and it basically reflects wherever you're at back at you. So if you're happy, L.A. is great. If you're not, L.A. sucks. But it has nothing to do with Los Angeles. Because, get this, there's no such thing! Mary Catherine: And? Charlie: And, that's it. Mary Catherine: If you don't feed me, soon, I'm gonna eat your face. Let's go.

Dialogue

Mary Catherine: Okay. What's going on? Dave said what? Charlie: He wants to partner with me. Fifty-fifty. But... We'd have to... be out there. Mary Catherine: When? Charlie: End of the month. Mary Catherine: And you wanna do it? Charlie: ... Sam: What I'm missing, I think, is a great subject. Like, like the novel. That which is new, y'know? I mean, where's my... What do I draw upon? Rasheen: I don't know. Sam: Exactly. I mean, my great shame as a writer is that I'm just this suburban kid with good parents. Y'know? I was fed, clothed, carpooled. Hardly Dickensian, y'know what I'm saying? Rasheen: Totally. Sam: I mean, you. With your situation. That's a goldmine. You got like, tons of material. All at the ripe old age of... whatever. How old are you anyway? Rasheen: I don't know. Sam: You don't know how old you are? When's your birthday?

Dialogue

Charlie: What are you so afraid of? Mary Catherine: I'm afraid my brain is going to melt. I'm afraid we will never walk anywhere ever again. I'm afraid... We won't care about things anymore, except opening weekend grosses and pilates classes. Charlie: Yeah, but you know they'd be like the best pilates classes. Mary Catherine: There's no art there! Charlie: That's ridiculous! Mary Catherine: They have no culture! New York has everything. The best restaurants, best theatre, museums-- Charlie: Right. And how many museums do you go to in an average week? I'm just curious. Mary Catherine: That is not the point. Charlie: I'm just curious! Mary Catherine: Not the point! Charlie: Yes, that is the point. I mean, what good is paying out the nose to live here if we never take advantage of it? We might as well live somewhere else and just, visit every once and a while and actually do things. Y'know? Like hit the Met. Take in a Broadway show. Carnegie Deli. Wow, that's a really big sandwich. I don'

Dialogue

Sam: Amazing, right? Annie: Are you sure you don't like these just because they're a lot of pictures of you? Sam: No. But I do look incredibly handsome... In this one. Look at me. I'm like a dashing Russian aristocrat.

Dialogue

Annie: What do you think was going on? Sam: I don't know. Something bad. He says he won't go back. Annie: Well. He's super cute. I say we keep him. I'm kidding. We can't keep him... Sam. Don't keep him. Sam: I'm not keeping him! Calm down.

Dialogue

Charlie: Did you know that my three most financially successful years in New York City were when I was dealing pot? Mary Catherine: You don't need Dave or some crappy town to do something great. I believe in you. Charlie: Why? Mary Catherine: 'Cause, you're my man. You're my big, funny, floppy-haired man. You don't need to know everything in advance, okay? You'll figure out your thing, and we'll have money eventually. That's how it works. Charlie: No. Not here. Not always. I just wanna feel like the crap I put myself through is... I don't know. I'm just tired.

Dialogue

Sam #2: So, I'm generally not a happy hour kind of guy but I, I thought you might-- Annie: Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, can't. It's a school night.