Quotes

Dialogue

Karen: Bert, what the hell is that? Bert: I'm going to go shoot some squirrels. Paul: Why would you want to kill squirrels? Bert: Because they're gay. Karen: Bert, don't be a fucking retard. Bert: I'm kidding. I don't care if they're gay or straight, I'll kill them either way.

Dialogue

Tommy: Boy, you want to give me one good reason why you would steal a Snickers bar? Bert: The nougat?

Dialogue

Paul: Hey, where are you going? Karen: Where does it look like I'm going? Paul: But, well, I thought we were kissing. Karen: Yeah, we were, weren't we? Paul: So... you like me now? Like, is this a date? Karen: Don't be gay. [pause] When you've known someone a long time, you just want to kiss them just to see if they're a good kisser. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

Dialogue

Jeff: [sitting around the campfire] Tell them about The Happy Bald Guy. Karen: No, I can't take it Paul: He was the guy that gave us our shoes and quarters for the video games. There was a room with a pool table too, but my dad wouldn't let us go back there. The bald guy was always happy, always smiling. But the killer got him too. When the cops searched the place, they found all the hacked off limbs at the end of the bowling lanes. The guy had bowled people's organs. Arms, legs, everything. They found the bald guy's head in the ball return. He was still smiling.

Dialogue

Deputy Winston: Looks like you guys were doing some pretty good partying, huh? Paul: Yeah, you know, we were drinking and then this guy came along and tried to break into the cabin. We had no choice but to get rough. I feel awful, but he was going crazy. He smashed into our car, and then he wouldn't come out, so... we had to hit him. We hurt him. We were terrified. We didn't know what to do. That's why we went to look for help... Deputy Winston: Hey, man, I told you... I'm gonna make a report. Don't worry about it. He ain't gonna come back. Looks like you guys scared him away pretty good. I ain't gonna let him ruin your fun. Paul: Thank you. My friend's inside right now and she's pretty freaked out. She wants to go home. We all kind of do. Deputy Winston: A lady friend, huh? I bet you like to party.

Dialogue

Marcy: We're all going to get it. We're all going to get sick and Jeff's off in the woods getting drunk! Paul: Bert's going to get help. Karen will be fine, I promise. Marcy: It's like being on a plane when you know it's going to crash. Everybody around you is screaming and yelling, "We're going down! We're going down!" And all you really want to do is grab the person next to you and fuck the shit out of them, because you know you're going to be dead soon, anyway. Paul: You don't use condoms? Marcy: Don't worry, I'm healthy.

Dialogue

Dennis: [yelling] Pancakes! PANCAKES! PANCAKES! Bert: No, No Pancakes! Dennis: PANCAKES!!! Bert: No Pancakes!