I'm the last person he called that night. I wonder, how many girls didn't answer before he got to fat freshman me? Am I in his phone as Schumer? Probably. But I was here, and I wanted to be held and touched and felt desired, despite everything. I wanted to be with him. I imagined us on campus together, holding hands, proving, "Look! I am lovable! And this cool older guy likes me!" I can't be the troll doll I'm afraid I've become.
Amy Schumer, CC BY-SA 4.0
I'm probably like 160 pounds right now, and I can catch a dick whenever I want. Like, that's the truth. It's not a problem. It's not a problem.
Amy Schumer, CC BY-SA 4.0

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Personal details

Nationalities: United States
Height: 170 cm
Languages: English
Years active: 2004–
Education: Peruvian University of Applied Sciences, South Side High School, Towson University, William Esper Studio