Jerry Seinfeld

Award won Role or nomination

1. 1954 age 0

   Born

2. 1984 age 30

   CreditThe Ratings Game

3. 1999 age 45

   CreditI'm Telling You for the Last Timescreenwriter

4. 2003 age 49

   CreditHead of Statescreenwriter

5. 2007 age 53

   CreditBee Movieproducer

   CreditBee Moviescreenwriter

6. 2011 age 57

   CreditTalking Funny

7. 2014 age 60

   CreditTop Five

8. 2017 age 63

   CreditJerry Before Seinfeld

   CreditJerry Before Seinfeldscreenwriter

9. 2024 age 70

   CreditUnfrosted

   CreditUnfrosteddirector

   CreditUnfrostedproducer

   CreditUnfrostedscreenwriter

• CRChris Rock3 titles
• TMTracy Morgan2 titles
• MRMichael Richards2 titles
• SFSpike Feresten2 titles
• ARAndy Robin2 titles
• MEMichael Ensign1 title
• BPBill Pope1 title
• CBChristophe Beck1 title
• DDDanny DeVito1 title
• JCJude Ciccolella1 title

• 
  Photo:Alan LightCC BY 2.0
• 
  Photo:slgckgcCC BY 2.0
• 
  via TVmaze

• I was in Switzerland one time. Beautiful country! Great country. And interesting: 500 years without a war! Very impressive. Also very lucky for the Swiss Army! I don't know if you've ever seen that little Swiss Army knife? It's not much of a weapon! [...] If somebody attacks you, what do you pull out? Your nail clippers? "C'mon, buddy! Let's go!" "You get past me, the guy in back of me's got a spoon!"

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0

• My favorite sign: you pull up to the light, and it says "Left Turn Okay". Don't you like that one? A little personal touch! It's like they're sayin' to you "Left Turn? Okay..." "We're not crazy about you makin' the left. It's okay..." Pretty much: "Make it. Get it over with." [...] They should get more involved, with signs like "Right Turn? Why Not?" "U Turn? Enjoy It!"

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0

• Have you ever seen the guy who's got the record for "Fattest Man in the World"? It's an amazing thing: Bob Hughes, 1,400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go! I used to even feel bad, y'know, talkin' about him onstage, 'cause, y'know, somebody-- you could be-- but you could weigh 1,000 pounds and go "He's not talkin' about me." "This is a man with a serious weight problem."

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0

• I had glasses when I was 10 years old. [...] Somebody puts something on your face at 10, you leave it there; you don't know the difference! I thought I was getting glasses 'cause I couldn't tell what my parents looked like. 'Cause every time I'd ask my mother to buy me something, she'd say "What do I look like? A bank?"

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0

• When you're 10, your parents are the bank! You know what I mean? If I'm 10 and I need money, [can] I walk into Chase Bank and get money? The teller's just gonna say to me "What do I look like? Your mother?" "Hit the road, four-eyes!"

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0

• I also had braces. [...] Glasses at 10, braces at 12: I was thrilled to have these things on my face. I mean, y'know, [I'm] thinkin' about talkin' to a girl for the very first time in my life, I want a lot of corrective apparatus on my head. [pause for laughter] This is what women like! I said to my parents "Let's not stop now! Let's get me a hearing aid! Orthopedic shoes!"

  Jerry Seinfeld, CC BY-SA 4.0